


He And Me And The Devil (Makes Three)

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Hallucifer, Bottom Sam Winchester, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hallucinations, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Lucifer, Top Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-07-12 17:04:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7114669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer is back and with him Sam's hallucination of him.</p><p>Only this time Hallucifer, as he calls him, is different. Sadly it doesn't make things better and when Lucifer one day traps him in the library he finds out the truth about all of this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Lexie Carver's Adult Spn Challenge- June Edition
> 
> Prompts: "They’ll hear us.” and "Don't test my patience."
> 
> And of course, SMUT

He never shuts up. Now Sam doesn’t have to deal with _Lucifer_ , which is hard enough at times, but with his own mind too. Because someone – who he thought would be gone for good – decided to visit him again and there’s no way this time to force him away. It seems like, after all, the hallucinations of Lucifer he had weren’t just memories from the cage torturing him. There had to be something else because there is no torture involved this time. Lucifer number two is just one thing: annoying as hell.

Sam can sleep, apparently both of them don’t even _want_ him awake sometimes. Lucifer likes having Sam around and, even though he’s a little demanding at times, Sam doesn’t mind. Hallucifer, how he named the second one jokingly, is _very_ demanding however. And he has more power than the last time. He was able to touch Sam back then, even pushed him against a wall, but now he feels so much more _real_. Still, Sam is the only one who can see him and that’s very frustrating.

Once again Sam fled to the library, if only to escape one of the two Lucifer’s for a while. Not that the other would leave him alone of course, but one is easier to keep under control than two – he got practice over the last months. He tries concentrating on the book in his hands, with Hallucifer constantly peeking over his shoulder. He even moved his chair away from the table to get him to move, without success sadly.

“You know this is boring, right?” The hallucination asks and Sam rolls his eyes.

“If you don’t wanna read it just go, I won’t mind!”

“Aww, Sammy. Why should I go? I like hanging out with you!”

Hallucifer grins and stretches himself over the table. He spreads all over it – his feet dangling off the far away edge from Sam, his head hanging over the other, facing him.

“Come on, pay some attention to me!”

Sam snaps the book close and gives the hallucination a deadly glare. The way he lays there doesn’t make anything easier – as if it’s not hard enough to keep control around the real Lucifer at the moment. Hallucifer knows exactly what kind of things Sam’s mind comes up with when he’s with the angel and he’s using this a lot for his own fun.

“I’m _not_ here for your entertainment, _Luci_.” Sam huffs, slamming the book onto the table next to Hallucifer’s head. “Go back where you came from.”

He stands up, watching from the corner of his eye how Hallucifer almost jumps off the table and is by his side within seconds.

“I _am_ where I came from, Sammy. And just where I wanna be.”

“No, you son of a bitch.” Sam stalks over to the door, anger all over his face. “You want to get into my _pants_ and that’s so not going happen!”

Sam ripped the door open he spoke again. What he didn’t know though was that Lucifer, the real one, stood outside and was just about to come in. When he turns around now he sees a smug grin on the angel’s face and flinches back.

“L-Luce!”

“Were you talking to someone, Sam?” Lucifer asks, stepping into the library and closing the door behind him. Sam sees his hands disappear behind his back for a second and hears a dooming _click_. He can’t prevent himself from gulping and backing away even more, his back bumping against the table and stopping him.

“I didn’t talk to anyone, Luce.” He quickly says, but the lie is so easy to spot that Lucifer doesn’t even have to search for it.

“Really?” He asks, slowly coming closer. “It sounded like you did.”

“No, no one here except us.” Sam shakes his head. Next to him, Hallucifer grins.

“Liar.” He sings, chuckling to himself.

Sam wishes he could just punch this cursed product of his mind back into hell, but he can’t even dare to look at him at the moment. His eyes are focused on Lucifer and on the way he eyes him and walks carefully. He’s wary, but that’s not all. It looks like he is up to something.

“I see. Well, you won’t mind if I stay here a little, will you?” Lucifer asks and is now directly in front of Sam. The hunter is trapped, without the angel even knowing.

“O-Of course not! I just wanted to leave, stay if you want.”

“Oh, Sammy. Do you _really_ not know what he _wants_ from you?” Hallucifer asks and Sam shoots him a quick warning glare – not even a second long, but it makes Lucifer in front of him smirk. Something isn’t right here, Sam can feel it.

“I hoped you’d stay, Sam.” Lucifer purrs and leans forward. “I miss hanging out with you.”

“We can hang out, sure.” Sam babbles, not knowing what he’s saying. Lucifer is so damn _close_ … he can’t think straight anymore. “You could help me research if you want to, I still have a lot to do.”

“Or he could fuck you over this table while I’m watching.” Hallucifer chuckles and crosses his arms. “I would enjoy that greatly.”

Lucifer growls silently and Sam almost believes it’s a reaction to his hallucination talking, but that’s just crazy. His presence seems to confuse Sam more than he knows.

“I had a different idea.” Lucifer says eventually, back to his fascinating calmness. He reaches out, a finger tipping against Sam’s shirt. “I’ve seen the way you look at me, Sam.”

“L-Look at you?” Sam stutters and swallows heavily. Fuck, this should not turn him on the way it does. What the hell is _wrong_ with him?

“You can play hard to get, Sam, but I can see the truth in your eyes.” Lucifer says.

“And in his pants.” Hallucifer adds, grinning – and again Lucifer smirks.

What _is_ this? The smirk is gone as fast as it appeared, but Sam _knows_ that it was a reaction to the other’s words this time, there is no doubt about that.

“Lucifer, what –“

Sam can’t finish his question. It’s completely gone from his mind when Lucifer’s lips are suddenly on his, pushing him back and taking his breath away. All of his nerves tense when Lucifer grabs the shirt tighter and pulls him closer. After a second or two Sam just closes his eyes and ignores the cheering coming from somewhere next to him. This is so surreal but it feels so fucking good at the same time, Sam can’t deny it. When Lucifer lets him go again Sam has a hard time breathing or even opening his eyes.

“So?” Lucifer asks and Sam’s mind slowly comes back to life.

“So?” He mumbles. His eyes are still on the angel, half closed and as if he just woke up.

“You want this, Sam, don’t you?”

Fuck, yes! He wants this badly. For weeks this urgent need in him grew bigger, how can he not want it? He wants to rip Lucifer’s clothes off and wants him to bend his body over the table and give him all he got. Sam opens his mouth, but there are no words coming out. Before he can answer he feels something new, something that completely confuses him.

Hallucifer is gone from his spot next to him, but Sam doesn’t know because he doesn’t _see_ him anymore – he feels him sit behind himself, legs shoving over the edge of the table at his sides. Sam doesn’t move an inch when two hands lay down on his shoulders and a voice whispers into his ear, low and – _fuck_ – arousing.

“Tell him you want it, Sammy. We’ll give you _everything_.”

Sam’s eyes widen and he can feel his pants becoming tight between his legs. Suddenly he just wants to run away. His hallucination said _we_ , not _he_ – as if he’s part of all this. Maybe he is, Sam thinks, his thought fueled by Lucifer smiling down at him. This can’t be, he’s the only one able to even _see_ Hallucifer… this doesn’t make sense!

“So, Sam?” Lucifer asks again, patiently. “Do you want this?”

He’s shivering when a single word leaves his lips – both with anticipation and arousal.

“Yes.”

Hallucifer is gone from behind him, only for Lucifer to grab his legs and lift him onto the table to he can sit. The angel’s lips crash against Sam’s only seconds after and Sam can’t stop himself from moaning into the kiss. His hands grab Lucifer, one clutching into his shirt and one grabbing his hair – he wants to feel more of this, wants to deepen this kiss.

Sam feels hands roam his body, shove under his shirt and pinching his skin in just the right spots, but he knows it’s not Lucifer doing this, because Lucifer’s hands are still holding his legs and his fingers dig into his thighs. The thought of who these hands belong to makes Sam shiver.

“Relax, Sammy.” Hallucifer purrs into Sam’s ear and he unwillingly turns his head a little. Lucifer let’s go of his mouth and what happens next makes the hunter feel like a deer in the headlights.

Hallucifer kisses him – really _kisses_ him – and it feels so different from Lucifer’s kiss. Sam just stares into his hallucination’s blue eyes, unable to process that this is really happening. Somewhere Lucifer unbuttons his shirt, but Sam barely realizes it’s happening. He’s completely lost. This is the craziest thing he can imagine and even after all the shit he went through because of Hallucifer - it feels amazing!

Suddenly Sam’s cheek is turned around almost forcefully, ripped away from Hallucifer, and Lucifer’s eyes sparkle at him with mischief.

 **“Don’t test my patience, Sam.”** He growls dangerously. Sam’s eyes widen even more when he realizes what these words mean and he stares at him in disbelief.

“I don’t think he knows, Luce.” Hallucifer says and Sam’s head snaps around again, his neck protesting loudly.

“No, but he does _now_ , don’t you, Sam?”

“H-He… you… _what_?”

Sam is completely baffled. Lucifer can _see_ him? His stomach twists as it dawns on him that these two have planned this, that Hallucifer had been bugging him the whole morning just so they could trap him between them like this. He knew Hallucifer could read his thoughts but he didn’t think he would use them against him like this.

“Just don’t think, Sam.” Lucifer says and opens the last button on Sam’s shirt, exposing his chest. 

His hands stroke over his bare skin, caressing him before he leans down. Sam just moans when Lucifer’s split tongue begins circling around one of his nipples. Thinking is pushed back, far back into his mind – and he’s glad about that. Hallucifer’s hands brush over his thighs now and he throws his head back against his shoulder, a slightly louder moan escaping his lips this time.

“That’s what I want to hear… such pretty noises.” Lucifer purrs.

Sam can barely breathe. Hallucifer holds him against his chest – which is bare without Sam even noticing he undressed and which he probably didn’t – and Lucifer’s tongue ghosts over his chest, his lips and teeth leaving marks on his skin for sure. All of this is scaring him, but at the same time there is this need for them to continue, to touch him like this forever. He wants to know what will happen, what they want to do.

“How is this possible?” He coaxes when he feels another pair of lips ghosting over his neck and strong hands work on his pants.

“You’re ours, Sam.” Hallucifer whispers between kisses and Sam’s nails scratch over the wooden surface beneath him. “You’ve always been… it should have been like this years ago already, Sam.”

“Yeah…” Sam’s head rolls to the side, his eyes meeting Lucifer’s, who’s now above him.

“He was always there, Sam. From the moment you said yes.” He murmurs, scraping Sam’s lips with his teeth. Sam’s hips unwillingly buck and push against his hand, which draws a smile from the angel.

“Your memories corrupted me, turned me into torture instead of pleasure…”

“Yes… yes they did…” Sam doesn’t even question their words, who is _he_ to know anyways? Between them he feels so lost and small – right now there’s _nothing_ he wouldn’t believe. The last time he was so vulnerable in front of Lucifer he was terrified, now he just feels like something he always wanted.

“But it’s good now,” Lucifer promises and kisses Sam again, deep and long, and the hunter willingly parts his lips to give him access. Yes, it’s all good now. While he kisses him Lucifer takes care of Sam’s pants, easily shoving them down his legs. He could have let them vanish, they all know it, but Lucifer always liked teasing Sam and this is no exception.

When Lucifer’s hand slides into his boxers Sam’s eyes shoot open and he gasps at the cold hand wrapping around his hardening cock.

“Luce…”

“Shh, it’s okay, Sam.”

 **“They’ll _hear_ us**!” Sam hisses – but even though he protests, his body reacts on its own. Under Lucifer’s grip his cock hardens.

“Maybe, so?” Hallucifer purrs, pinching one of Sam’s hard nipples and earning another gasp.

“But – _Dean_! He’ll never –“

He’s hushed again by Lucifer’s lips and just sinks against him, forgetting his worries. So what if Dean and Cas will hear them, it’s not like he wouldn’t hear _them_ all the time too. They are right, it doesn’t matter.

Lucifer’s hand is suddenly gone from his boxers, without Sam noticing, and he gives a disappointed wince when he pulls out of the kiss. His arm wraps around Sam’s waist and he looks over at Hallucifer, winking. The next thing Sam knows is that he’s in a dark room, on a bed, and is on his back. After a few seconds the light is turned on and he realizes he’s in Lucifer’s room. He pushes himself up with his elbows, looking at the two so similar men in front of him. They are alike, almost completely. There’s just this one little thing that is different and that’s how they feel against him.

Lucifer is cold to the touch, sending shivers down Sam’s spine when his fingers trail over the muscles on his chest, the hunter aching his back against the touch. Hallucifer, however, feels almost hot. It could be his imagination making this up of course, clinging to the last bit of sanity that screams how wrong all this is – but Sam knowsbetter than that. He’s hot because _Sam_ is hot.

Hallucifer comes up to Sam and when the hunter reaches out and cups his cheek, he feels as real as Lucifer. Sam smiles at him, kissing the corner of his lips.

“You’ve been there all along and I never knew.” He whispers.

“Don’t think about it, Sam. We’ll make you feel good, just relax for us, okay?”

Sam feels bad, guilty, but nods nonetheless. Hallucifer pushes him back onto the bed and he feels Lucifer’s chilling cold between his legs. He spreads them willingly when his hand strokes over his boxers again – his hard on now undeniable. He wants them, _needs_ them. And they _know_.

“Luci, please…” Sam whimpers.

It feels strange when Hallucifer suddenly wraps his arms around Sam and turns him so he lies on top of him, but Sam feels a strange arousal at the sight of him like this. There’s an idea flickering through his head for a few seconds – hot and dirty and so damn tempting – and Hallucifer smiles at him.

“You’ve seen it, didn’t you?” He asks and Sam nods, gulping.

Sam leans down and kisses him hungrily as Lucifer aligns himself behind the hunter. Nails dig into Sam’s back, both from the angel and his hallucination, and he groans in delight when Lucifer’s hands stroke over his ass, shoving his boxers down. They are gone a second later.

“Damn, Sam… we should have done this sooner.”

Sam chuckles and pulls away from Hallucifer, looking over his shoulder.

“Make up for it now, you’ve seen this vision too, right?”

“You bet I did.” Lucifer groans and easily slides a finger into Sam. There is no pain – Sam just moans out in pleasure and arousal – dripping wet from this one touch. Lucifer _is_ the devil, no denying that. It's cruel, but it's a sweet cruelty that Sam drowns in.

“Fuck, Sam.” Hallucifer groans, running his hands down his chest, his lips on Sam’s throat. Sam rocks his hips back, thrusting against Lucifer’s hand and glares at him. He can’t speak, he’s still just moaning, but he doesn’t have to.

Hallucifer takes care of Sam as Lucifer keeps fucking his ass with his fingers, adding a second and third and coaxing lustful moans from the hunter. He strokes Sam’s cock, lets him thrust into his hand. Sam’s eyes cloud and become dark at the sheer amount of blood rushing through his body, but he wants more of this – it’s just too fucking good to stop.

“Luce, please… no more games!”

Lucifer smacks Sam’s ass with his palm and pulls his fingers out at the small and surprised yelp he earns.

“First it’s your turn.” Lucifer groans.

Sam nods, biting his bottom lip. His arms become weak, but he crawls over Hallucifer, pushing him back doing it. He still can’t believe what this quick vision showed him will happen, but both of them seem to be more than willing to go for it and he surely won’t complain about it. His hand shoves between Hallucifer’s legs, spreading them.

“You two want to fuck me and be fucked at the same time…” it’s not a question, he knows it’s true. But there’s something he needs to know. He leans down, brings his lips to the others ear, and whispers. “You feel _all_ of it, don’t you? _Both_ of you.”

Hallucifer groans, which is answer enough for Sam, but he wants more. He sinks his teeth into Hallucifer'sneck, at the same time crooks his fingers between his ass cheeks, pushing one inside. He pants underneath Sam, inhaling sharply, and behind Sam Lucifer does the same. Sam smirks to himself and pulls back.

“So, I have two naughty angels now?” Sam asks.

Another slap on his ass, harder this time, makes him ache his back and wince silently.

“As naughty as their human.” Lucifer purrs, his fingers circling Sam’s hole again. He’s dripping from just that and he knows, when he’s going to fuck Hallucifer, his ass will feel the same. Even if not, he’s going to find out – _now_.

Sam takes one of Hallucifer's legs and bends it before shoving himself closer, eager to do what he has seen. There’s only a silent hiss from the one beneath him when the tip of his cock pushes against his hole, but Hallucifer’s fingers dig into Sam’s hips, creating moon shaped marks.

There is no time to think, just as he starts sliding into him Lucifer decides to push into his ass with one long and deep thrust and he’s pushed forward, burying his own cock deep in the other. They all cry out from pleasure and it’s just one sound, perfectly melting and filling the room with it.

Sam’s breath is heavy, but he doesn’t move yet, waits for Lucifer to choose the pace and when he does his head falls back and his mind is shut off. Lucifer fucks him hard and deep, there is no mercy in this, just pure lust. And Sam, unable to keep his voice down and the moans silent, goes with it. He’s pushed into Hallucifer, fucks him the same Lucifer fucks him.

The first thrusts of both of them are shaky, unfamiliar. Sam is used to top girls, having someone fuck him like this is new and so damn intense – but combined with fucking someone at the same time himself it feels like dying. His hands search for something to hold on, find Hallucifer’s heaving chest, and fight to keep him on his knees. His own fingers dig into Sam’s back and Lucifer’s do the same with his hips – both leaving scratches and marks everywhere on him.

“Fuck, Luci… I… I can’t breathe…”

And he can’t. Sam doesn’t even know how he got the words out. All he knows is that the room is spinning and that he’s about to cum so much he’ll pass out. Lucifer lets his hand run along his spine, somehow taking the weight on his lungs away, but it doesn’t help much.

“Please… Luci, I’m gonna cum…”

Hallucifer is just panting by now, meeting Sam’s thrusts perfectly and Lucifer hits his prostate over and over when he goes even faster. Sam doesn’t last long like this. His hands start shaking, nails drawing blood from Hallucifer’s chest when his orgasm hits him and he screams out – there’s no way to hold it back when he feels Lucifer cum inside him, filling him with his cold and moans his name, all while his stomach is decorated white when Hallucifer does the same.

Sam doesn’t pass out, but he collapses against a heavily breathing – and very real – hallucination under him, trying to remember if he has to breathe in or out. He pulls out without even knowing it – all he knows is that he never felt so dead and alive at the same time before.

Strong arms wrap around Sam and roll him onto the dark sheets – everything is tingling in the hunter and his arms and legs feel numb. Still, there’s a smile on his face and when Lucifer leans down and kisses him he still smiles, unable to kiss back. Hallucifer does the same after him and Sam tries to remember the differences between the kisses – how one was cold and soft, the other warm and sweet.

“You killed me…” Sam whispers, still smiling like he had just seen heaven.

The two Lucifer’s look at each other, grinning, and Sam can’t tell them apart in this moment. They lay down, one in front of him and one behind, but he doesn’t know who is who. Maybe tomorrow, he thinks. It doesn’t really matter anyways. They kiss him again, their arms are around them and he’s at peace.

“I should be so mad at you.”

“You can’t be mad at us.” One of them whispers, kissing his cheek.

“You love us.” The other adds, kissing his neck.

They are right. Fuck, he does and if he’s not going to hell for that he doesn’t know anymore.


	2. Done With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waking up in Lucifer’s bed with not only the devil himself, but also his own hallucination next to him, Sam panics. He feels used and manipulated and in an outburst of rage and disappointment and confusion runs away because he can’t take the thought of them playing with him like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think I'd write a sequel to this, but here you go! Enjoy the pain.

After waking up between the two devils and sneaking out of the room, Sam sat on his bed with his head in his hands and his eyes closed. He didn’t know why he suddenly panicked and ran away. Last night – he remembered it vividly – how the two made him feel complete, how their hands and lips had brought a realization he never dreamed of. Why was he so torn now? When he had first opened it eyes he had done it with a smile, but now it felt like all smiles were gone from him. It had been good and nice, so what on earth was his damn problem?

_They lied to me, that’s the problem._

Sam opened his eyes and blinked confused at the new thought running through his head. At first he tried pushing it away, but it wasn’t wrong, was it? They did lie. Of course he didn’t expect any different from his hallucination – he had lied the last time too often – but from Lucifer, the one who always claimed he would never lie to him?

His chest tightened at this thought, proving that he was absolutely right with this. No matter how good he had felt the night before, now his guts twisted thinking about it and he just wanted to throw up. They had _used_ him, _played_ with him. And as if that wasn’t enough, he _fell_ for it willingly! How could he have been so dumb and not see that? He was disgusted by himself, more than he ever thought he could be.

Sam stood up, shaking his head and roaming his drawers for new clothes – completely ignoring the fact that his old ones were still somewhere on the floor in Lucifer’s room. He wouldn’t get them back, no way. Without even thinking he pressed a pile of clothes against his chest and stormed to the bathroom, where he dumped them on the floor and jumped under the shower in seconds.

For minutes Sam just stood there and let the almost boiling water run over his face and body, trying to forget what he had done and how low he had sunken. It was of no use though, whenever he closed his eyes he saw it all over again and every time his guts twisted again and he felt the urge to cough. When the water began to cool down a little he grabbed a sponge and soap and began scrubbing every inch of his body he could reach like a maniac.

Soon his skin was burning and red, but he just kept going, even though he knew it wouldn’t scrub off the memories of the last night – it was impossible to stop once he started. Only when the water became ice cold he finally let his hands fall down and sank to the ground in defeat. He reached up and turned the water off and then simply sat there, his arms wrapped around his knees and his chin resting on top of it as the air slowly dried his irritated skin and tears streamed down his cheeks.

Over fifteen minutes passed before there were no more tears to cry and Sam weakly tried to rub his eyes dry, only to realize they already were. Sighing, Sam dragged himself up and got one of the towels from the wall, without actually starting to use it yet. He felt like a complete fool, even more now than before.

He had thought he could _trust_ Lucifer, that he would be his friend even, and now he didn’t even know how he could have ever been so blind. He must have known from the very first day when Sam started seeing Hallucifer again and he didn’t say a word, kept it a secret the whole time. How often did they talk behind Sam’s back? How much of what one of them had done was the idea of the other? And how come Sam never had the slightest clue? He should have noticed something was different! But, being the trusting little idiot he was, he had just thought things would turn out to be okay between them; and now he was stuck in this mess and had no idea what to do.

Without looking into the mirror – something he would never be able to do again without wanting to smash it probably – Sam rubbed his hair until it was damp and walked over to his pile of clothes. It seemed to take forever until he was finally dressed and even then he still felt dirty and used.

He left the bathroom and dragged his half-numb body into the kitchen, glad that Dean was still asleep and that he could just grab a mug of coffee – no alcohol so early in the morning, not even in a state like this, even though he could have used it – and vanish into his own room again. If he would have faced anyone on his way he would have screamed for sure. Like this though, he sat down on his desk and burned his throat with the steaming coffee and just stared at the wall in front of him – without thinking. Thinking meant remembering and he didn’t want to remember anything right now. He wanted to forget.

It wasn’t even the fact that he had actually had sex with Lucifer _and_ his hallucination of him that angered and disgusted him so much; it was his sheer lack of realizing that he had been manipulated. For weeks, even _months_ , the two had _played_ with him and pushed him into this direction with teasing, friendly talks and sheer annoyance. How could they have been truthful when they said all those things the night before when they had lied to him for so long? He remembered how he fell asleep between them before, how absolutely blissful and happy he had felt and how glad to be there and feel safe. Now all that was left was this emptiness inside of him and the wish to go to sleep and never wake up again.

Not even the fact that Sam had had these thoughts about Lucifer before helped, he would never be able to look at him again – not like before. It was just a matter of time until his hallucination would come back, probably followed by Lucifer himself, and Sam didn’t know if he could take that. He wanted more than anything else that they _meant_ what they had said, but no matter how hard he tried to tell himself that they did, it was useless.

A knock on his door startled Sam and broke him out of his reverie – only for him to realize he didn’t lock his room when someone stepped in. He swallowed hard and forced himself to not turn around, instead he clung onto the almost empty mug and gritted his teeth.

“Sam? Are you alright?”

Lucifer, of course. Sam didn’t expect anyone else and his anger was only fueled by the other coming into his room as if it was his god given right. He let out a disapproving groan, emptied his mug and smacked it back onto the table before standing up to look at him.

“Alright? Really?” Sam scoffed, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Behind Lucifer Sam’s hallucination appeared and the hunter clenched his hands to fists. They looked confused, which didn’t help him to calm down at all.

“You! You two used me!”

At those words, hissed and filled with so much disgust, Lucifer stepped back a little, widening his eyes.

“Sam, what are you talking about?” he asked. “What happened?”

“ _You_ happened! You and… and _him_ … and your whole fucking _game_ to get me into your bed!” Sam almost yelled now, unable to control his anger anymore. He didn’t even care that the two devils tried to protest, they had no right to protest, not even a bit. “You fucking used me and you ask me if I’m alright?”

“We didn’t – I mean we didn’t mean to –“ Hallucifer was cut off immediately when Sam swiped his arm over the desk behind him and the mug smashed onto the ground, splashing its last sip of coffee everywhere.

“I don’t care!” Sam growled and snarled, glaring at Lucifer directly now. “You didn’t tell me you could see him! You said you wouldn’t lie to me and you did! I don’t give a damn if you _didn’t mean to_ , you did!”

“Sam, I wasn’t lying – _we_ weren’t lying,” Lucifer said, trying to stay calm, even though it was obvious that he was completely shocked by this outburst. “We didn’t know how to _tell_ you!”

“So you didn’t say anything and manipulated me like a puppet? What the hell is _wrong_ with you?” Sam couldn’t believe what lame excuse Lucifer came up with – as if this was something that happened every day. “I _trusted_ you, Lucifer! And you,” he turned towards his hallucination, “You told him everything! You spied on me and my secrets and spilled them all out! You knew how I felt and you used it against me!”

“I – I didn’t _use_ it! Sam, I just wanted to make you _happy_ – _we_ wanted that!”

Hallucifer was close to tears now, something Sam couldn’t recall ever happening, but he didn’t even care at the moment. He just wanted to get away from them and preferably far, far away.

“In case you can’t see it, _I’m not happy_! Not a fucking bit!” he shot back and jerked away.

Sam longed under his bed, pulled a duffle bag out and threw it onto it. Without even looking at Lucifer and his hallucination he began throwing clothes and random stuff into it, including a bottle of bourbon he always hid in his closet from his brother, and closed it when nothing more would fit. He turned back to the others, glaring daggers through them as he shouldered his bag.

“I _trusted_ you, I thought you’d _mean_ what you said,” this time Sam’s voice was less angry, but much more hurt than before. New tears were shimmering in his eyes, but he didn’t care at all. “Screw you, _both_ of you! I’m done being the fool, I’m done being the idiot for everyone here! Not enough that I thought I would feel something for you, I was dumb enough to believe you would too. I hope you’re glad, you got what you wanted after all.”

“What are you doing, Sam?” Hallucifer asked and reached out to touch him, but Sam evaded his touch.

“Sam, please. You misunderstand us, we _meant_ what we said!” Lucifer jumped in, without earning more than another huff.

“Yes, we did! Sam, you can’t just leave us!”

“Oh, I can’t?” Sam narrowed his eyes and grabbed the strap of the bag tighter. “Fucking watch me!”

And with this he stomped forward, pushing them aside with his shoulders and stormed out of his room. Lucifer and Hallucifer shared a worried look before going after the hunter. Sam, however, completely ignored them shouting his name – he only fastened his steps until he almost ran into the garage and grabbed one of the spare keys from the wall. He wiped some tears out of his eyes before dumping the duffle back onto the backseats of a black Pontiac and slid into the front seat the second the other two walked into the garage. Over the howling sound of the engine Sam couldn’t hear their voices anymore, which he was more than glad about. He pressed his lips together when his foot hit the gas pedal and he drove out of the bunker to finally get away from them all.

—-

Sam had been on the road for almost an hour before the tension in his body finally faded. When it did he pulled off the asphalt and just cried over the steering wheel. His whole body was shaking and aching and all he wanted was to never feel anything ever again – because this was just too much. Being shot or cut or almost ripped in half was nothing compared to what he felt right now.

He didn’t realize how much this all hurt before. What he felt for Lucifer he hadn’t seen as more than a crush, a dumb thing caused by him being so close suddenly and by his hallucination constantly teasing him – he had never thought this could be more. Now that he had been crushed like this and was terrified of what would come next he knew how dumb he had been for not realizing that he was falling in love.

“How could they do that?” Sam sobbed and gripped the wheel so tight his knuckles turned white. “How could they use me like this and pretend they actually _cared_?”

Never before did Sam feel so much betrayal. He had trusted Lucifer, had believed his gentle words and his adoring glares, and had fallen for their trap like a fool. If it was true – if they meant what they said – how could they have played him like this? Did they not realize how much they hurt him? Did they not see the true nature of his feelings and that they made him vulnerable?

Sniffing and exhausted Sam rubbed his eyes and sat back up to get some air into his lungs. He didn’t know what to do now. Not only did he just run away like a ditched teenager, he also said horrible things he could never take back again. There was no way he could ever look into Lucifer’s eyes again, not after this. Maybe if he just kept driving he would be able to forget one day – forget that he fell in love with the devil and had been used like a toy in return.

Sam didn’t know if he was more angry or more scared by all of this. If they _had_ been playing with him on intention his outburst was justified, but what if they didn’t? What if they thought they would hurt him by telling him the truth and hurt him because they kept it a secret, without _wanting_ it? In this case he had just fucked up in dimensions he couldn’t even imagine. But still, no matter what the truth was, he couldn’t just go back now. Not after what he had said…

Grabbing behind himself he opened the duffle bag and dug through it until he found the cold glass bottle. Drinking while driving wasn’t really something he usually did, but right now he didn’t give a damn about that – and he wasn’t driving yet, so whatever. After two huge gulps Sam closed his eyes for a moment and let the golden liquid warm his sore throat and added another once he began feeling his stomach heat up too. Once the cap was back on the bottle he put it into the glove box and pulled back onto the street – his vision now slightly blurred at the edges and a little calmer than before.

Two hours later he pulled up in front of a bar he had never visited before and got out of the car. He mainly needed to stretch his legs, but the idea of a warm place with music and a few beer wasn’t the worst either, so he decided to go in and just see what would happen. It was only noon, so the bar was mostly empty, except from the barkeeper and two guys in a corner playing poker, but that was just right. There was music and the booth near the entrance was comfortable enough for him to stay a while.

Sam didn’t plan to knock himself up, but after the second beer he realized this was exactly what he was going to do. He had put his phone in front of him before and now took it, browsing through the numbers he had saved. Should he call Dean and tell him he was gone for a while, so he wouldn’t worry? The thought was laughable, Lucifer probably told him already Sam was gone.

“Lucifer…” Sam mumbled silently, scrolling down to the angel’s name on the screen. They had gotten him a phone a week ago, just in case, but Sam didn’t think he actually knew how to use it yet. Too proud to ask, of course. Sam shook his head and turned the phone off again. No, he wouldn’t call anyone. It was audible that he had been drinking, one way or another it would end in harsh words again.

“Bad day, sweetheart?” a sugary voice suddenly asked next to Sam and he looked up confused. The barkeeper, a young woman in her mid-twenties, had walked up to him. She had short black hair and a smile that said ‘Tell me about it big boy, I’ve heard it all’.

Sam managed to crack a smile too, even if it was a very weak one.

“Bad day, bad life, take a pick,” he said and took another sip from his beer. “Nothing I shouldn’t have expected, so no need to talk about it.”

“Alright then, just make sure to not pass out here because I’m not carrying you out,” the friendly tone had changed into a rather sarcastic one, but Sam just shrugged and let her leave.

If he wanted to talk he would’ve gone to a therapist, not a bar. Sam hated to be rude, but he wasn’t in the mood for a prep talk right now, not even for so much as caring if he hurt anyone’s feelings or not. All he wanted to do was sit here and empty bottles until his head stopped working – he didn’t even care how. He had fucked everything up, it was all that he had left for now.

Another bottle later Sam began to feel dizzy when, of course, his phone rang. He rolled his eyes and looked at the display, finding a name that made his chest tighten. Lucifer. If it wasn’t for the alcohol in his system he would have dismissed the call, but before he could even think about it he had already taken it and the phone was next to his head.

“What?” Sam asked annoyed even though he didn’t feel that angry anymore.

“Sam, where _are_ you? Dean is running around like crazy and you know who won’t stop complaining.”

Unwillingly Sam smirked at this and grabbed for his bottle to empty it.

“So?” he huffed once he put it back down, trying to ignore the guilty feeling crawling up in him. “What do you expect me to do? Forget the shit you pulled and let you continue or what?”

“Sam, please, I _told_ you this is a misunderstanding. If only you would come back so I could _explain_.”

“I don’t want any more lies, Lucifer. I’m _done_ , I’m _through_ this!” Sam snarled. “Have fun with your little friend because I sure as hell won’t come back so you can keep pushing me around just for some kicks!”

Without waiting for an answer Sam hung up and slammed the phone onto the table. Well, now his anger was back, awesome. He waved for the barkeeper and paid for his drinks, really just wanting to leave now and maybe sleep in the car until he was sober or whatever. His head was hurting and the bitter taste filling his mouth wasn’t helpful at all either.

When Sam stepped out of the bar he had to shield his eyes for a moment, cursing himself for even existing. With a groan he started walking, only to be stopped dead in his tracks when he heard the flutter of wings and spun around, almost losing his balance in the process. Damn, he didn’t think Lucifer would actually show up here – how the hell did he even know where he was? – but apparently the angel had other plans.

“Get the fuck away from me, _Luci_!” Sam warned the other, stepping back and immediately stumbling and landing on his rear in the dirt. “Shit!”

“I just want you to come home, Sam,” Lucifer said calm and stepped up to Sam, who slowly crawled back and stared at him with spiteful eyes.

“I don’t wanna go home, I want you to leave me alone!”

“You need to let me explain, please.”

Lucifer kept coming closer and despite Sam’s efforts to keep his distance he was stopped once again when he hit a parking car with his back, giving Lucifer the chance to walk up to him and kneel down. Before he could even protest Sam was dragged and pulled and a second later he stood in his own room again, pushing himself away from Lucifer with as much strength as he had left.

“You son of a bitch!” he shouted and glared at him. “Are you having _fun_ doing shit I don’t want or what?”

“No, Sam,” Lucifer sighed and his shoulders dropped. “I don’t enjoy forcing you to come back, but you need to stop running away and listen. You got us all wrong.”

“Oh, I got _nothing_ wrong! You had what you wanted, why can’t you just stop this now? End it because I can’t take this, okay? You fucking _hurt_ me, Lucifer!”

Sam was raging, his blood boiling and if Lucifer dared to touch him again he would definitely leash out this time. He was so sick of these games, as if he wouldn’t have had enough of them already.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Sam. Never,” Lucifer still had the soothing and calm tone Sam appreciated usually, but his eyes were filled with a deep sadness that made the hunter frown. “We didn’t tell you because of what he told me – what happened when you first saw him.”

“So? What would that have changed?”

“This wasn’t what I wanted to happen, you have to believe me. When Death ripped your soul away from my arms in the cage I had so little time – I couldn’t do as much as I wanted to. He was never supposed to hurt you, but to protect you from the memories.”

“Well, _that_ plan backfired, sorry to break it to you,” Sam scoffed and plopped down on his bed, crossing his arms. “I nearly died, thanks for asking.”

Lucifer sighed, running a hand through his hair. A moment later a hand laid on his shoulder and he looked back at Sam, who now looked even angrier at the sight of his hallucination.

“You two _really_ have some guts.” Sam growled, leaving no doubt that he was ready to kick them out if he had to. Hallucifer stepped a little closer, quickly followed by Lucifer, whose eyes didn’t leave Sam’s for a second.

“Sam, what I did to you… I’m sorry for it,” Hallucifer said in a hushed tone. “I tried to stop it, but it was too strong for me alone…”

Sam’s only response was a huff, to which the hallucination looked even more conflicted than before.

“It’s my fault, not his, Sam,” Lucifer sighed eventually. “ _All_ of this. We didn’t mean to lie to you, but I feared that if we didn’t you would be hurt. There is nothing I can say to make you forgive me for breaking my promise of being truthful, but I never meant to cause you pain in any way. What happened was not a game, neither of us was trying to manipulate you or play with you. I made a mistake, Sam, and I am deeply sorry for it.”

Sam raised a brow, the snarky response that had already been on his tongue forgotten. Did Lucifer just… _apologize_? Lucifer, the proudest being on this planet, who never admitted making any mistakes? It was hard to believe, but even with his fuzzy mind Sam had heard the words clearly and there was no doubt that this was exactly what Lucifer just did. He apologized.

Sam sat up, glaring at the two, and for the first time realized that Hallucifer’s hand was clutching Lucifer’s shirt and that they both looked heartbroken and as guilty as could be. It made his heart ache seeing them like this and knowing full well that Lucifer was telling the truth – not necessarily because of the way he said it; he could _feel_ it deep in his core. Suddenly Hallucifer raised his head a little, looking at him.

“I understand if you can’t believe us, but it’s the truth,” he mumbled, his voice trembling more than Sam thought was possible, given how sassy and confident he usually was. “I’m sorry for what I put you through, willingly or not. I was too weak to stop it and I’ll never forget what I did, but I never wanted _any_ of this to happen. If you want I will leave – just say the words and I’ll be gone from your life.”

“We _both_ will be gone, if you want us to,” Lucifer added, which caused Sam to immediately darted up and ignored the shot of pain rushing through his head.

“No!” he gasped and grabbed the sheets between his fingers. For a moment they just looked at each other and Sam’s fear of having destroyed everything overwhelmed the hunter so much it drove tears into his eyes. “No…” he repeated silently, almost defeated.

Once the first tear fell Sam was unable to stop the others and it was enough to break him completely. He cowered on his bed, crying and sobbing into the sheets with a crushing agony that was taking over him. Within seconds of his outburst the bed shifted and two strong and cold arms pulled him up and pressed him against Lucifer’s chest and Sam simply let him while grabbing for his shirt – his mind not processing what was happening yet. Two different arms were wrapped around his waist, almost shy and careful, and Sam grabbed those hands on his stomach with one of his too, desperately clinging onto both of them and terrified that they would simply vanish and leave him completely alone.

“It’s okay, Sam…” Lucifer muttered, a hand brushing over Sam’s back in an attempt to calm him down somehow. “We won’t leave if you don’t want us to.”

“Don’t, please…” Sam sniffed weakly. “I’m sorry, Lucifer, I –“

“No, Sam, don’t,” Lucifer shook his head and placed a soft kiss on top of Sam’s.

Hallucifer’s fingers gently brushed over Sam’s hand and the next moment a warm kiss was pressed onto Sam’s neck, a gesture to which Sam sank against Lucifer even more.

“We should have told you, nothing is your fault,” Hallucifer assured him, brushing through his hair tenderly. “What happened was real, it wasn’t to make you do anything, Sam.”

“You know, all he did was show me that you feel the same way I always did,” Lucifer mumbled and Sam looked up confused.

“What?”

“Sam, do you think I would have acted the way I did if you weren’t important to me, if your well-being wasn’t what I cared about the most?” Lucifer asked and brushed over Sam’s cheek, wiping his tears away. “I tried protecting you by giving you a part of me when we were separated, I didn’t know it would make everything worse instead. I – _we_ – want you to be happy and whatever it takes, we will do it.”

“We are one, Sam,” Hallucifer said, smiling at the still confused hunter as he looked at him. “I’m still part of Lucifer, but also of _you_. This is why only you two can see me, but what I feel for you is still _real_.”

“You… you aren’t mad at me?” Sam asked carefully, looking back and forth between them. “For yelling those horrible things at you and for thinking you used me?”

“We could never be mad at you, Sam.” Lucifer smiled and gave him a slight nod. “We didn’t realize how much not telling you would hurt you and failed to show you that we were honest with what we said.”

“So you were? You didn’t just try to get into my pants for fun?”

“We never would, you know that’s true, right?”

Sam hesitated for a second, but then nodded slowly.

“I thought you didn’t mean any of this…” he mumbled sadly. “That you just wanted to mess with me…”

“No, Sam.” Lucifer shook his head and tilted Sam’s chin up a little. “You are my other half, Sam. That didn’t change, it never will. But I’m not used to this – loving someone only ever brought pain and punishment – I did the wrong thing and inflicted the same upon you. You deserve to be loved, Sam. You deserve to be cherished and praised and worshipped in ways you can’t even imagine, more than I ever could, but I promise I will do all that is in my power to make up for what I did wrong before.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong…” Sam said, a weak smile on his face. “I just snapped, I think. I mean, I imagined you two making plans behind my back and luring me into a situation you could use and it was all too much to process.”

“I’m sorry, Sam, we both are,” Hallucifer sighed and brushed through Sam’s locks one last time before sitting back onto his feet. “I should have stepped back, after all I did I shouldn’t have put you into this position. Whatever you say, I’ll do it. I owe you that much.”

“You don’t owe me anything, don’t be silly. I believe you when you say you were forced to do those things. And, you know,” Sam looked at his hallucination with an apologetic smile. “It wasn’t _all_ bad. You helped me find Dean after all.”

“And then I almost killed you by keeping you awake for weeks. No, Sam,” Hallucifer shook his head. “Don’t excuse what I did, it’s impossible. Just know I will never do anything like that ever again – since Lucifer is back I am much stronger and nothing can corrupt me like that anymore.”

“Really?” Sam asked, smirking. “So, this whole ‘being an annoying little brat’ thing was actually _you_?”

At this Hallucifer grinned and raised his hands in defense.

“Don’t judge me for who I am, okay? I’m just what _he_ made me.”

“Oh, shut up,” Lucifer rolled his eyes and glared at his copy. “If it weren’t for me your sorry ass wouldn’t even exist, so be thankful.”

“Of course, master.” Hallucifer huffed and made a fake courtesy into Lucifer’s direction. “Can’t talk back to the devil now, can I?”

“I made you, I can _un-make_ you too!”

“Oh yes, prove it! You don’t have the balls to kill me!”

“Are you daring me?”

“I don’t know, am I?”

“Guys!” Sam finally interrupted the two arguing devils, fighting hard to hold back his laughter at just how absurd this all was. “Would you stop bickering like children? You make it very hard for me to be angry!”

“Good,” Lucifer and Hallucifer said unison, smiling at Sam brightly.

“Is this how it’s going to be all the time now?” Sam asked and chuckled while Lucifer pulled him into his arms and Hallucifer tried freeing him to do the same.

“Only if you want us to stay.” Lucifer said, pushing the hallucination back with his foot.

“Will this even work? I mean, you and I and a hallucination of you – it’s kinda crazy, isn’t it?”

“So? Since when is your life normal, Sam?” Hallucifer asked as serious as he could, drawing another chuckle from Sam.

“Never, I guess; and I can’t even say I hate you because it’s not true. I thought I was just having a weird crush but, this is more than that,” Sam sighed and looked up into Lucifer’s bright blue eyes. “God help me but I might be falling for the devil.”

A knowing smile played on Lucifer’s lips when he pulled Sam up and made the hunter’s heart race.

“We will catch you, promised.”

With that, Lucifer sealed their lips and Sam closed his eyes in relief, trying to forget once more – this time not what happened, but how dumb he had acted. He knew that this would be crazy and difficult, but in Lucifer’s arms and assuring him that he loved him, that they both did and wouldn’t hurt him, it all seemed possible. They had a rough start for sure, but Sam realized that a rough start was better than no start at all or than losing them completely. Because despite their troubles, despite what they all did in the past, this was _now_ and whatever would come they would have _each other_ to rely on.

If his childish outburst was worth anything then it was seeing the truth. Lucifer _did_ care for him, he always had and always would – and his hallucination was more than that too.

And after all, love knows no rules, right?


End file.
